Why do I need to set boundaries on how I want people to treat me? Why can’t I just be nice and everyone will like me and treat me with respect? Why can’t I find someone to date who treats me right? How do others attract healthy people into their life? Can’t we all just get along with one another without having to follow guidelines? 

If you have ever felt uncomfortable with how others treat you, if your boundaries have been violated in the past by someone you thought cared about you, you know that it is important to set up boundaries and limits to keep yourselves safe and healthy. The reality is that life without healthy boundaries can be messy.  

Establishing boundaries is essential to creating balance in your spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental health.  Boundaries strengthen your relationships with others and yourself. There are negative effects when we neglect to set limits on how we want others to treat us. Setting your boundaries allow you to heal from past violations and bring order back to your life.  There are several benefits to protecting our personal boundaries.  Our feelings of being valued and respected increase immediately.  Below is a poster with some of the positive statements that confirms needed steps to establishing and following through with creating healthy boundaries.

You will start attracting healthy people in your life when you set healthy boundaries.

Maybe you were raised in a dysfunctional family that was so enmeshed in one another’s lives that there were no clear lines between where they ended and you began. There were no personal boundaries ever established.  It may be uncomfortable for you to speak up at first and tell others “It is not okay for you to treat me this way”.  But, keep practicing being assertive! There is hope that you can begin right now and decide how you want others to treat you.  First, take time to list what your core values are.  What do you want to stand for and what do you believe in? Next, make a list of statements on how you want to be treated by others.  For example, “I want to be around people who treat me as an equal” or "I want my partner to respect my choice if I do not want to have casual sex” or “I value honesty and want to be around people who tell the truth”, etc.  Start attracting healthy people in your life today! Some of the statements below might help you get started. If you need more assistance, call or email me to set up an appointment at 641-784-5463 or ddw1@graceland.edu